I have not posted in quite some time. I want to be able to keep up with catching snippets of my life on here, so that I can look back and remember. It seems to me that I am too ordinary of a person for a blog. There are no HUGE moments on my personal horizon. I got married a little less that two years ago. That amazing moment has come and gone. I do not have children, so I don't have cute stories to post about them. The blogs I love to read are introspective. I am not really sure if I am the right type of person for a blog, but regardless I want to have one. My life is in a certain place. I spent many years wondering what would become of me. When I was 15 I contemplated what life would be like in 10 years. What would I do for work? Would I find someone to love? Where would I live? What would I be like? Would I remain faithful to the Lord? Although my life seems ordinary to me at times, perhaps God is giving me a period to rest in the in between time. I am no longer a child, yet I am not a mother. I feel as if I get this question often: "How are things going with you?" I seem to answer the same way all of the time. "Things are good, just busy." My life right now is not glorious. I do not shine. I do not make huge accomplishments. I possess small victories that are important to me. I teach. I coach. That consumes me right now. I think I am happy. Am I happy? If you were to ask me how I am doing, the only stories I would probably share would be about my students or my team. God has led me here. Here I am.
These are my girls. I spend almost each of my days with them. They are beautiful, talented, and most importantly they each have unique potential that I crave to see fulfilled. I believe in them, I hope for them, I challenge them, and I learn from them. I am hard on them. I should give them more credit. They work hard. I think I posses a character flaw. I am unable to be content. I always want more from them. I want them to learn from me. I want them to accomplish greatness within themselves. I repeatedly tell them that basketball is a microcosm of the real world. I want them to learn responsibility, accountability, priorities, passion, undying effort, community, and possibility. It has taken me three years as a Head Coach, but I am finally seeing that the game of basketball might not be as important to them as it is to me. I know they love the game because it is fun, but I love it because it is truth in a dark and confusing world. The skills needed to play the game in a disciplined fashion make sense to me. I think the biggest lesson I am learning about myself is that I want to help each of my girls become the best version of themselves. I am not working with girls who will think and act like me. That would be boring. This is why I say that I learn from them as they learn from me. My feelings about coaching run deep, and the aforementioned ramblings merely scratch the surface. Will I always coach? Am I the right person for the job? Are my girls learning any lasting lessons?
On to other topics. My husband has been working on our house and it looks amazing. We live in Fountain Valley. I think before I moved here I had moved 12 or more times. That includes moving everything that "belongs" to me. I detest moving. Last summer Cory and I painted the outside of our house. To me, that meant we would have to stay in this home forever! Painting is not my favorite thing to do. How could painting be fun for someone who hates mistakes?!
Two summers ago Cory and I purchased cherry hardwood laminate flooring. We bought it knowing we could not install it until we could afford to have a wall knocked out of our house. In October we had the wall knocked out. Cory worked countless hours on laying the floor. He is an amazing craftsman. He discovered that he loves to work on the house. It is a great hobby for him, and our house looks amazing. Here is a picture of the floors. Aren't they beautiful? There used to be a wall through this room. It was divided into two separate rooms. We love our new great room!
Another HUGE part of my life right now is being overjoyed for my sister and brother-in-law. They are expecting their first child in March. Her name is going to be Morgan Marie Stone. I already love her so much! I was able to attend an ultrasound with my sister and it was breathtaking. I am really excited for my sister to have her baby showers! I have never seen April more at peace. She loves her baby girl perfectly. This Christmas was fun because people have started buying presents for Morgan. Morgan, I cannot wait until you arrive. Your Uncle Cory and I are praying for you as you continue to develop.
Since we're talking about children, I cannot forget to mention my sweet nephew, Michael Joseph. This Christmas was special to me because I was able to spend time with all three of my siblings. My older brother Michael is beginning a new chapter of his life. I have not seen him in a long time, and it was so good for me to be able to give him a hug and see him with his son. I love you Michael.
I think of my siblings continually. This life has been more than unbearable for all of us at times. We are still here. We have made it through trenches. I am so thankful that my brothers and sister are healthy and alive. I will always feel a connection to them that no one will understand. No matter what transpires, I love them. No matter how many tears that fall or words that hurt arise, I love them. I want to see them happy. I want to hear their happy hearts. They deserve what is best in this world. They each have unique stories. They are each beautiful to me. I want to commit to pray for them more zealously. I wish sometimes that I could see them more and be closer to them. They are forever my longest and closest bonds. AMT.
This year was a good year. Although I had no huge moments, I had a multitude of small ones. As I continue my journey into 2010 I hope that I can regain focus and look to God for complete direction. My life is not my own.
